Slaying our Dragon

An ancient legend tells of a lake dwelling, plague-bearing dragon that once envenomed all the countryside. To appease the dragon, the people of the nearby town used to feed it a sheep every day, and when the sheep failed, they fed it their children, chosen by lottery.

It happened that the lot fell on the king's daughter. The king, distraught with grief, told the people they could have all his gold and silver and half of his kingdom if his daughter were spared; the people refused. The daughter was sent out to the lake, decked out as a bride, to be fed to the dragon.

A heroic soldier, Saint George, by chance rode past the lake. The princess, trembling, sought to send him away, but George vowed to remain.

The dragon reared out of the lake while they were conversing. Saint George charged it on horseback with his lance and gave it a grievous wound. Then he called to the princess to throw him her girdle and put it around the dragon's neck. When she did so, the dragon followed the girl like a meek beast on a leash. She and Saint George led the dragon back to the town where it terrified the people at its approach. But Saint George called out to them, saying that if they consented to become Christians and be baptized, he would slay the dragon before them.

The king and the people of the town converted to Christianity, George slew the dragon, and the body was carted out of the city on four ox-carts.

Today the Phoenix Suns will embark on an epic journey to slay the plague-bearing dragons of the NBA and convert the world to a new order where they will be remembered among the greatest teams of all time. However, the first dragon to slay is the oldest and vilest of them all, the San Antonio Spurs.

This is a battle for the ages, one destined to be hoisted to ESPN Classic game status within minutes of the first tip-off. The gallant Suns have confronted this dragon many times before and has been turned away wounded every time. A new nobleman, Steve Kerr, has armed the warriors with a new lance. Saint George's lance was named Ascalon, the Suns' lance is named Shaq.

Armed with their new weapon, the Suns have wounded the Spurs in winning both games. However, all of the townsmen know that the Spurs are quite a different beast come playoff time. San Antonio might have played its best game of the season against Utah on the last game of the season, when the Spurs mauled the Jazz with an offensive explosion in the first half. That might have sent a message to the Suns that the Spurs are in playoff mode.

The Shaq trade was made precisely for this moment. He was bought at a high price to slay the fire-breathing Spurs. One team with a legitimate chance of winning the championship will be going home early. It will truly be a glorious day when I can see the ugly dragon being carted off on those four ox-carts; a cart for every loss.